Maximum Crossing
by Panda Blast
Summary: Max is trapped in the school again when she meets Rover: the cat all animal crossing fans know and love. Crack fic, first fanfic, R
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride, James Patterson does. I also do not own animal crossing, Nintendo does. Characters are very ooc.

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So here I was again, trapped in a cage, with no one but my flock beside me. You know except for that dumb blue cat guy who wouldn't shut up long enough for me to devise a plan.

"Hello there, mind if I sit here?" he began.

"Not like you have much choice, you know, sense you're trapped in a freaking cage!"

"Cool, I'm Rover, what's your name?" he continued as if he didn't actually hear what I said.

"Max," I said, no longer paying attention to him.

"Cool name, Max, do you like it?" he continued as if it actually mattered.

"Yeah I do," this was getting dumb.

"Yeah, a burly name to fit a burly boy," he said cheerfully.

"I'm a girl," I said bluntly.

"Oh!" he said making it clear this news surprised him, "Yes very cute name for a girl too."

"So Max," he continued, "I like to travel around a lot. Say, where are you traveling to?" What was with him and these questions?

"Nowhere, because in case you haven't noticed, I'm also in a cage," I grumbled, trying to figure what made him so stupid.

"Oh cool, where are you moving to?" He asked.

"Nowhere! Once again, I'm in a cage!" Man this guy was annoying.

"Oh cool, do you have a house yet?" he continued clearly not grasping the fact that I was in a cage.

"No." I was gonna snap soon.

"Well Max, you're in luck, my good old friend Tom Nook lives in Nowhere and he'd be happy to sell you a house there, let me call him up for you," he offered. Clearly he had lost it.

"You don't have a phone," I groaned. Suddenly he jump right out of his cage and walked into the supply closet. About ten minutes later he walked out and jumped back into his cage, what a moron.

"Well Max, Tom Nook will meet you at the train station to help you find a house." He said as if he had just changed my life for the better. Suddenly a voice echoed through the room.

"Ooh Ooh, we will now be arriving in Nowhere shortly," it said.

"What the heck! Who was that?!" I was freaking out now.

"Oops looks like you got to get going. I'll see you around," he said as my vision suddenly went dark.

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Chapter two, coming up soon.

This is my first fanfic, so tell me how I did in a review! :D


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two, I hope you like it, so far I haven't gotten any reviews except for one, THANK YOU SilverWingedRaven! The rest of you, PLEASE REVIEW! I don't know if I'm doing anything right!

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When my vision returned I saw a raccoon in an apron running towards me. Crap. I got ready to fight when suddenly he stopped.

"Excuse me, are you Max?" he asked. This must be Tom Nook.

"The one and only, who wants to know?" I smirked. I might as well make this fun

"Oh good, I'm Tom Nook. Rover called me and told me you don't have a house. Well, here are some options; they're cozy, but cheap," he said, another talking animal that never heard what I actually said.

"There are no houses, just cages." I couldn't make this fun.

"So, you want this one?" he asked.

"Sure," I groaned. It took too much effort to argue.

"Oh good, now about the costs, it will cost about 9,068 bells," he stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Who owns that many bells?" I asked in disbelief. This guy made no sense.

"I'm afraid you'll have to pay off your dept in another way." Suddenly a light bulb flashed above his head, "How about you come to work for me?" he offered enthusiastically.

"I'm gonna take a nap instead," I groaned.

"Here's your uniform," he insisted. "First, I want you to plant flowers around the shop; make it look nice," he ordered. Suddenly I was wearing a blue shirt with a white leaf on it and dozens of flowers and saplings appeared around me.

"What the heck?" I yelled pushing the flowers and saplings out and onto the ground, "Hey, Nook, what the crud are you doing?"

"Are you done? Did you make it look nice? Well I guess I'll just have to trust your taste in decorating," he began, clearly oblivious that the plants were never planted. "Oh hey, you're still new here aren't you? Why don't you go introduce yourself to townsfolk" And don't forget to say hello to the mayor by the wishing well!" Suddenly he disappeared and was replaced by about a dozen animals, a cat, a rabbit, two mice, a hippo, two eagles, a squirrel, two birds, a duck, and an old turtle. They were all speaking at once.

"Hi there I'm-Do you have any foo-do you prefer a cat a turtle a pelican or a-When's your birth-You must be the ne-" It was complete and utter chaos. I was about to succumb to death by cute animated animals. Suddenly an idea popped into my head - because I'm Max and I'm awesome like that. If the animals could just disappear then why couldn't I?

"Teleportation go!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, but instead of disappearing I heard a ping noise and suddenly I was looking at an image of about fifteen circles, one holding my old clothes and the others empty. So, as any other smart mutant would, I poked my clothes, so that they reappeared on my body in place of the work uniform then I grabbed the image and swatted away the pesky villagers. Unfortunately, Tom Nook then reappeared in front of my cage.

"WHY ARE YOU NOT IN YOUR UNIFORM?!" he yelled as soon as he came close enough for me to see the clear signs of rabies in his eyes. "Whatever, kids these days honestly. Anyways, I trust you met everyone yes? Well then next I want you to deliver this shovel to Punchy, and be quick about it," he said dismissingly as a shovel appeared in my cage.

I turned around and threw it through the bars in the back of my cage. "Done."

"Good, it took you longer than I had hoped but at least you got it done," he rolled his eyes, clearly displeased it took me over two seconds. "Now I want you to write a letter to one of my regular customers, Tangy, to thank her for her business." A piece of paper and a pen appeared in my cage. I picked up the paper and began to write.

Dear Tangy,

I have terrible news. Nook has eaten his entire family, I saw him do it with my own two eyes. He is now coming after you. I suggest you skip town before you too, are eaten by the gigantic, overweight, selfish, moronic raccoon that is Tom Nook.

From,

Max

I was quite pleased with this and so I threw it out the cage and turned to Nook, "Also done."

"Good, now deliver this carpet to Ace," he ordered. I threw it.

"Now write an advertisement on the message board for my shop," Was his next command. Suddenly a message board appeared in front of me. I began to write.

Die you stupid, stupid animals; I will kill you all in your sleep. Nook told me to write this by the way.

I now turned to nook waiting for the next dumb job I had to do.

"Well Max, it appears I'm all out of jobs for you so I guess your free, your remaining debt is 4,569 bells." He said happily. Just then he disappeared and my cage's door opened, I jumped out and did a little happy dance.

"Whoo hoo! I'm finally free from Tom Nook and his dumb store!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, then completely forgetting about my still trapped flock I ran out of the school and never returned. But I did destroy a good few animal crossing games.


End file.
